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Love Across the US

DearSugar — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 07:30:00 -0800

Thanksgiving is a big travel time, and since many of you will be making the trek through states all across the US, I thought you'd like to learn some love statistics about those places. With help from Oprah.com, you'll learn some useless trivia that could actually be a great conversation starter during dinner! Enjoy.

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How Soon After Baby Did You Resume Sex?

lilsugar — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 14:00:42 -0800

Sex is the last thing on a mom's mind after giving birth, but the subject is sure to come up. Most doctors suggest waiting until after the six-week postpartum appointment to ensure that the cervix is completely closed and the uterus has returned to its pre-baby size. Did you follow the doctor's orders, or did you get busy sooner?Source

How Soon After Baby Did You Resume Sex?

Prior to the six-week mark.

At six weeks on the dot!

Around eight weeks.

Around 10 weeks.

Around the three-month mark.

Other — I'll tell you in the comments.

Dear Poll: Did You Experience Postnuptial Depression?

DearSugar — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Even if you didn't turn into a Bridezilla, the letdown after your wedding day can feel overwhelmingly depressing, and the feelings around postnuptial depression are now being recognized by psychiatrists and therapists. According to a recent article on Time.com, therapists say that most people experience some sort of letdown after the big day, but five to 10 percent of newlyweds experience strong enough feelings of remorse, sadness, or frustration to seek professional help. To avoid these feelings, the article offers some advice:

After the vows, to defeat the postnuptial blues, doctors say couples should get adequate rest and exercise; communicate constantly; focus on the benefits of marriage, such as having a built-in support system; and start thinking about the future in terms of family or finance. Women especially should also stop thinking of themselves as The Bride: throw out those wedding magazines, then plan some social events for after the honeymoon, so you have other parties to look forward to.

Since post-wedding blues aren't uncommon, I'm curious to know how many of you felt down and out after your big day, so tell us . . . Source

Dear Poll: Did You Experience Postnuptial Depression?

Yes, I'm feeling pretty glum right now actually.

I did feel a little down after my wedding, but those feelings have since passed.

No, I never felt the blues after my wedding day.

Other — Please explain below.

A Do or a Don't: Thanksgiving Together Before Marriage

DearSugar — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:30:00 -0800

The holiday season is all about family, and while it's also about welcoming others to the table, I think most people look forward to being home every November. Married couples are often forced to alternate holidays if both families can't be together. But what about when you're in a serious relationship, just not married? Is spending Thanksgiving with your significant other a do or a don't? Source

A Do or a Don't: Thanksgiving Together Before Marriage

A Do — I don't like to be away from my significant other during the holidays.

A Don't — Thanksgiving is a family holiday. We can be apart for a few days.

We just do a big Thanksgiving together so we don't have to choose.

Bringing Sexy Back: Write a Love Letter

lilsugar — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 08:00:59 -0800

While your children are busy writing their letters to Santa, steal a few moments and put pen to paper for your partner. If you need inspiration, jot down all your husband's qualities that you take for granted or the 10 reasons that make him your better half. Whether you are thanking him for being the father of your babies or making your life more fun, there are no guidelines. The letter can be long-winded and encompass your entire relationship or a be a short and simple "I love you." Seal it with a kiss, pop it in the mail, and you can be sure he'll find you under the mistletoe.
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City of Love Issues Manual to Stop Forced Marriages

CitizenSugar — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 03:00:50 -0800

Paris, the universal capital of love and romance, created a manual on forced marriages this week to help officials spot and prevent cases of young women being forced into matrimony.

An estimated 70,000 young women in France are victims (or potential victims) of forced marriages, according to a government study. City officials who conduct weddings often don't know how to deal with their suspicion — clearly they haven't spent time in Vegas! — so the city created some guidelines.

What are telltale signs? The 32-page book lists clues like when "middlemen fill in the required documents ahead of the wedding, when the woman does not appear at the city hall at any point before the wedding day, or when there is a big age difference between the man and the woman". It also notes signs like bridal distress or submission to relatives, brides that can't answer questions clearly and brides that don't know their fiancé's personal history.

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You Asked: Do You Have Any Orgasm Tips?

DearSugar — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I'm a 47-year-old woman and I've only had sex with my first love — my husband of 31 years. The reason I'm writing is to ask if it's normal to only be able to climax in one position. I can only orgasm when I'm on top which makes me think I'm missing out on so many other fun positions. Do you have any suggestions to help bring excitement back to our sex life? — On Top Tatiana

To see DearSugar's answer

You Asked: I'm Having Major Cold Feet

DearSugar — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 12:00:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I have a serious dilemma. My fiancé and I have been together for four and a half years, living together for three, and engaged for five months. We set a date and everything was great, except I started to get very nervous — I have major cold feet! I love him dearly and our relationship is awesome except for a few things: I wish we had a better sex life and I struggle with having more of a social need than him. I want a little spontaneity in my life, I am only 23!

Though I'm having cold feet, I don't want to lose such a great person by letting my fear get the best of me. I decided that I needed to be alone and live by myself for a while so I could figure this all this out. He moved out a week ago, and I am not missing him that much. I see him everyday and we are still together, we're just living separately.

I am completely confused and need advice as to what to do. Does age really matter when it comes to marriage? Does hot sex really matter? Please help! I'd rather not get married then get married and get divorced. — Cold Feet Courtney

To see DearSugar's answer

You Asked: Do I Deserve His Lies?

DearSugar — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

My husband and I have been married for over four years. Right before we were engaged he was living in another state. When he returned back home, he was very secretive. I snooped through his emails one day, and there were messages from another woman. There was nothing overtly sexual in them, though she did say something about how she's a better woman than me.

It didn't take me long to get over it, but whenever he was out of town for a long period of time, I always felt suspicious. One Summer we were apart for a month and he came home with inappropriate text messages. Things quickly blew up, and I found an email form my husband to another girl complaining about me. This was very hurtful, and again, my trust was broken.

We worked it out, and now three years later, I've been hurt again. My husband said he was going out to dinner with a male business partner, but it turns out it was with two women. He lied directly to my face! I realize I'm a jealous person, and I have definitely snooped, but if I didn't have this feeling in the back of my mind I wouldn't have. But did my jealousy and my snooping drive him to hide things? I don't know that he has ever physically cheated on me, but I feel that he has emotionally. I know he can be a great person, but do I really deserve this?

— Lied To Lacey

To see DearSugar's answer,

Where Do You Stand? Using Condoms When You're Married

DearSugar — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 08:00:00 -0700

If you're not a fan of hormonal birth control, your options are limited when it comes to staying pregnancy-free. Condoms are an easy choice to stay protected when you're not in a committed relationship, but I've been hearing more and more married couples say that condoms are their preferred method of birth control, too. Of course to each their own, but isn't one of the perks of being in a committed marriage (one that's clear of STIs) that you don't have to fuss with interrupting the moment to find a condom? Clearly I'd pick another method, but where do you stand on using condoms when you're married? Do you, or would you, use them too?

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